November 26, 2012

the next one's the best one.

I was about eight weeks pregnant when we had our first appointment with our midwife. October 4. The month leading up to that point had been a roller coaster of emotions. We are a little surprised by the news, but mostly just excited. It was an overwhelming feeling. I didn't know that the minute you find out you're pregnant, you become a mother. Your life changes instantly, and every decision you make is with a lens on what is beneficial for that baby. Even though it's just a glimmer of a person (or the size of a blueberry, in our case), you start making plans. You tell family and a few close friends. And it's all just so exciting and terrifying at the same time.

But at our first appointment, there was no heartbeat. One week later, it was confirmed that I had miscarried.